While an old lady was fighting for her life, this woman was complaining about her meal.
This story showcases the best and the worst parts of humanity, sometimes at the same table.
A hairdresser from Indianapolis went on her Facebook page to complain about the “crappy” service she experienced at Kilroy’s Bar N’ Grill on New Year’s Eve. The reason the service slowed down? The staff had rushed over to help a 70-year-old woman who had collapsed and was fighting for her life.
According to reports at the time, she described her night as ruined by “watching a dead person being wheeled out from an overdose.” She was wrong on both counts. The woman had not died, and she had not overdosed.
The restaurant’s manager, Chris Burton, fired back on Facebook in epic fashion, correcting the record and defending his team. Police reportedly had to stand by until the complaining diner paid her bill. Once the story went viral, the internet’s outrage machine kicked into gear and her workplace was flooded with messages demanding that she be fired.
Her employer felt bad enough to donate 500 dollars to the GoFundMe page set up for the victim. The old woman’s daughter, Tohnna Wymer, said:
“She is in critical care ICU. When she does start to regain consciousness she will have a long road of recovery.”
The real heroes were the staff
The complaint got the headlines, but the part of this story worth remembering is what the restaurant crew did. On one of the busiest nights of the year, with a full dining room and orders stacking up, they dropped everything to help a stranger. That is exactly the right call, and it is the call a lot of people freeze on.
Anyone who has worked a restaurant floor on New Year’s Eve knows the pressure. Tables want their food, the kitchen is slammed, and the whole night runs on timing. Choosing a person on the floor over a ticket on the rail sounds obvious when you read about it afterward. In the moment, it takes someone willing to take charge.
Heart attack or cardiac arrest? Know the difference
The two terms get used interchangeably, but they are not the same thing, and the difference matters if you are the one standing nearby.
- A heart attack happens when blood flow to part of the heart is blocked. The person is usually conscious and may have chest pain or pressure, pain spreading to the arm, jaw or back, shortness of breath, nausea or a cold sweat.
- Cardiac arrest is when the heart suddenly stops pumping effectively. The person collapses, becomes unresponsive and stops breathing normally. A heart attack can trigger cardiac arrest, but cardiac arrest can also happen for other reasons.
With a suspected heart attack, call 911 immediately and keep the person still and calm while help arrives. With cardiac arrest, the clock is running from the moment they go down, and what bystanders do in the next few minutes can decide the outcome.
What to do if someone collapses near you
You do not need to be a paramedic to help. Resuscitation guidelines now encourage untrained bystanders to use hands-only CPR on adults, because it is easier to do, easier to explain over the phone, and research has found it works as well as or better than traditional CPR when performed by the average person. Here is the short version:
- Call 911 first, or point at one specific person and tell them to call. “Someone call an ambulance” to a crowd often means nobody does.
- Check if they are responsive and breathing normally. Gasping is not normal breathing.
- Start chest compressions. Two hands, one on top of the other, in the center of the chest. Push hard and fast, 100 to 120 times a minute, to a depth of about 2 inches in an adult.
- Send someone for an AED if the building has one. Do not stop compressions to go looking for it yourself. The device talks you through each step once it is switched on.
- Keep going until the paramedics take over or the person starts breathing normally.
Children and drowning victims are an exception, since they also benefit from rescue breaths, which is one more reason a basic first aid class is worth a Saturday morning. Many restaurants, gyms and offices now keep an AED on the wall. It is worth noticing where it is the next time you walk past one.
The internet pile on, and why it should make you think twice
There is a lesson in the online backlash too. A single angry post, written in the heat of a bad night, turned into a viral story, a flood of messages to her workplace and a very public embarrassment. The internet does not forget, and it does not care that you were tired or had a few drinks.
A few rules that would have saved her a lot of trouble:
- Do not post angry. If a night out goes wrong, wait until the next morning before writing anything public. The version you write at midnight is rarely the one you want your employer reading.
- Get the facts first. She assumed an overdose and assumed a death. Both were wrong, and those two mistakes are what turned a complaint into a scandal.
- Remember who can see it. Anything you post can be screenshotted and shared far beyond your friends list, including to the people who sign your paychecks.
- Complain privately first. If the service really is bad, talk to the manager on the night. A public post should be the last resort, not the first move.
How to behave when something goes wrong at the next table
If you are ever out to dinner when a medical emergency happens nearby, the right etiquette is simple. If you can help, help. If you cannot, give the staff and the responders space, keep the aisle clear, and do not film a stranger on the worst night of their life.
And if your food takes longer because the servers were keeping someone alive, the correct reaction is to tip them well. They earned it.
